musings of a non-binary trans poly queer lots-of-experience-fluid white fat spoonie person who is constantly exploring identities, becoming an activist and exploring subversive thoughts. whatever I'm interested in goes here, I don't have a separate blog for all my different interests, and that includes NSFW things, especially of a sexual nature. Please let me know if there's a TW I should be using! :] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pronouns are they/them/their/theirs

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Anonymous asked: what do you think about non binary and non dysphoric trans people? personally im non binary and do experience a pretty severe degree of dysphoria but i know not all people do.



When I say brothers, sisters, and siblings, it is those who are not binary I am referring to when I say siblings.

There is an ongoing shift within the culture of transness that is going to see the same sort of fraction in gone saw with “gay”, and it is going to end up with a broad set of values.

Plotting identification on a three dimensional graph, one identifies seventeen distinct clusters when using a structural spectrum to identify where along a spectrum folks are. Two of them are the largest and most dense, and those are the binary clusters.

That leaves 15 other clusters for which the terms can vary, even regionally, and through time.

There are also outliers, singularities.

That graph is based on four thousand trans people. It makes things interesting for people, and it demonstrates the lack of value in using Dysphoria as the measure, as Dysphoria is, itself, a predominantly binary system as approached by most folks who don’t understand that it is a scale.

Dysphoria can be absent, very low grade, medium grade, high grade, and intense. Dysphoria can be caused by the variation between social sex identity, physical sex identity, physiology, and even sexual orientation. All of which are aspects of self awareness and so exist at a nominally unidentified level.

This is how we get those clusters. Each one represents a commonality of variations, a point where those points all collide.

And that set of clusters only applies to the US. Different cultures are going to have different clusters.

Long before nb/GNC folks became a much wider and more broadly recognized force to me, I had met a trans man who was assigned male at birth, went through transition, including incredibly expensive surgeries that are outside the soc, and then went on living his life as a man with a woman’s body.

Then I met others like him.

What they told me changed the way I saw much of transness.

It led me into the deeper areas and is what got me involved in more of the studies and the various efforts. It is what made it possible for me to dig into critical trans theory.

This is the sort of thing that freaks people out, and. Like them, nb/GNC folks freak people out. They break the rules even more than regular trans people do, and they are still building out their own cultures.

When I speak about kinds of trans people, I often use the terms Cis, Trans, Inter, and then I say two others that we don’t know yet.

I say that to allow space for those nb/GNC people to develop their own terminology instead of applying one to them.

And that is important to do. That is why there is a split coming. That is why there is a kind of backlash going on against the nb/GNC folks, especially among truscum and hbs sorts who make it their business to police who is and who isn’t trans.

The key to it all is self awareness, not Dysphoria. Dysphoria is the excuse cis people created to allow them to wrap their heads around us.

Transness is an aspect of self awareness.

And Toni smashes truescum’s bullshit forever.

41,601 notes



There are these little tiny fuzzy bugs that are flying around my pear tree and I kind of want to call them cute but I feel like the second I do someone’s gonna tell me they’re like the spawns of satan and they sting people and kill my trees

Nevermind they’re called “Woolly Aphids” and they’re literal fairies



I feel bad for calling them evil now they’re so frickin cute

(via misskittystryker)

Filed under bug cuuuuuute cute

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Cuddling became shower sex became bed sex became naked cuddling while playing original nintendo video games and listening to punk music

Plus we made puns at each other :D

Basically trans girls are the best

Your life sounds like a dream when you put it that way. I want to do those things with trans girls too

*sends luck magic your way to make it happen*

May I have luck magic too?

Luck magicks 4 u

oh my goodness that sounds like such an amazing time :3

3 notes




abuse survivor feels right now

because people spending money on me makes me panic, is legitimately making me hyperventilate and get tight chest and and

I want to be happy and excited and thrilled because I’m going to fucking Disneyland with my excellent tomboyfriend, it’s fucking amazing, but…

First, you never need to apologize to me for having feelings. Every single thing you’re feeling is allowed and valid and important.

You and I were both raised in environments where money was a BFD, and I know that my doling out cash to take you on an adventure might seem lavish, even excessive. I’m not going to trivialize the experiences of people to whom money is a constant worry by saying that I don’t care about it, because I do—money buys my family food and a safe, quiet home and liberates us from a thousand micro- and macroaggressions every day.

But I have so much. I am taking you to Disney for the same reason I’ll buy groceries or shoes for people I hardly know—because I can, and because the fact that I have disposable income doesn’t make me one single tiny bit more deserving of anything than anyone else. And that’s really the long and short of it.

I want to go on vacation with you because we’ll have a great time together. You get me, and I trust you. You are every bit as deserving of a vacation as I am, and the fact that I have more means to make it happen than you do is the result of a kyriarchal and woefully flawed economic model—that is to say, it’s a mere fluke.

And of course, there are still all of the tender words that I murmured to you before: that you are wonderful, that I love you, that I am making the right choice by choosing you as my travelling companion, etc. Those are all still true.

I know where your head’s at, and I want you to know I understand. I’ll help you process your feelings as long as you need me to - or just leave you be, if you would prefer. But I want you to remember that you are incredibly special to me, you deserve dignity, respect and love, and YOU ARE ENOUGH.

(Sorry for reblogging this, btw, feel free to tell me to fuck off if that’s not cool.)

…holy fuck I just can’t even.

I have it so. damn. good. Thank you for being such an amazing, compassionate, lovely person, and for being in my life.

I am so lucky to have you, and so many other people, in my life.

Thank you for helping me heal. <3

Filed under me my life oh captain my sugar captain abuse tw

3 notes

abuse survivor feels right now

because people spending money on me makes me panic, is legitimately making me hyperventilate and get tight chest and and

I want to be happy and excited and thrilled because I’m going to fucking Disneyland with my excellent tomboyfriend, it’s fucking amazing, but all I feel is really overwhelmed and panicked

and I can’t sort out if it’s because I don’t think/feel I’m worth it, or if I just associate nice things being intrinsically connected to people being shitty to me (see: all 4 of my parents, abusive ex, various shitty friends).

….I suppose both makes sense. 

(sorry, Captain. I swear I’m really really excited. Just. Feels.)


Filed under me my life abuse tw

151,504 notes





why he lick me


IT IS SAYING, “this tiny horse is very tiny but we are friends. Look at my tiny friend.”

Horses and cats get along really well actually! Cats in barns scare away all the rats and mice that frighten the horses. SO it’s less like the horse accepting it into the ‘herd’ as the horse saying ‘thank you, brave warrior, for protecting me from the scary chitter beasts.’ 

It got better!


(Source: lolgifs.net, via hexgoddess)

Filed under all caps cutes gif cute

1,248 notes


figured my first post should be of my own creation, so I decided to have a bit of fun with my Share (for all you trans boys wanting your own dick to play with this one is perfect - you can jack off with it and it feels fantastic because of the jellybean end sitting right in the good spot)

come and have a ride fellas, I’ll be gentle with you

I have the XL version of this, and it is fuuuuuuuuuuuun. I really want to get the XS version too, though!

(via exquisite-clutter)